While Visionary and other members of the Lair Legion rescued and healed the vigilante known as Artemis from the Yakuza Spider Clan, her former mentor Mr. Epitome was on assignment in Sweden, tracking down an especially dangerous metahuman.
Reminder: This series takes place prior to “Follies of Youth” and “The Transworld Challenge.”
Exemplary accepted the bottle of beer with his good arm. Even thought the silicate compound bonded to his skin prevented the ranged use of his bio-electrical abilities, the man could still use them to manipulate his own somatic system, accelerating his healing factor a thousand fold. Soon he would be back to fighting strength, and the one who had inflicted the beating would pay.
Exemplary’s attacker seemed to sense his intentions, and offered caution in addition to the Wurtzburger Hofbrauagr, “Even if you could take me in a fair fight, the resulting collateral damage would draw unwanted attention. The Shadow Cabinet will not be as restrained as I was, if they catch up with you.”
“So I should join up with you instead? That’s a hell of a sales pitch, Clancy.”
Mr. Epitome shrugged, “If you don’t you’re dead.”
Exemplary smirked through swollen lips “You don’t have the stones to kill me.”
“I have no problem handing you over to someone who does,” the Paragon of Power took a several widgets from his belt pouches and assembled a device to gather up the grains of silicate that littered the hardwood floor, “You know I’m your only option. The Grey Eminence can protect you, and reward you if you perform competently in your duties. You’d be able to afford a decent haircut and some clothes that don’t make you look like an overage slacker.”
The former agent of the Shadow Cabinet snorted facetiously at the put-down. He may have known that the rest of what Epitome said was true, but still had more questions, “What does the Grey Eminence need me for, if he’s got you for muscle?”
“You don’t really expect a response to that, do you?” Epitome retorted, “Need to know.”
In truth, Exemplary did not. He was fairly certain he knew the answer anyway, and that opened up all kinds of possibilities.
*****
Tektrongedankstmäch was Sweden’s largest fiber-optics manufacturer. Though their main factory was in Stockholm, the electronics firm had a branch office in Göteborg. Otto Leresloev was its chief engineer.
It was good work, Otto knew. Excellent salary, benefits, even daycare for his sons Ansgar and Twigmuntus. And he enjoyed the challenge of trying to meet the needs of an increasingly demanding market. This was probably why he was so willing to accept the employment offer video-mailed to him from Paradopolis, USA.
“God dag, Herr Leresloev,” the pretty green woman who hard core artificial intelligence aficionados would recognize as Hallie welcomed, “The Lair Legion has a job for you….”
*****
Charlotte Ouk looked up at the biggest washing machine she had ever seen, in the biggest room she had ever been in.
It was a tesseract chamber designed to hold the accumulated trophies of the Lair Legion. Mementos gathered from five years of adventuring were on display, including this immense appliance, which bore a plaque labeling it “Death Trap, Property of Argh!Yle, Evillest of Socks, Impounded 2002.”
“Heck of a thing, isn’t it?” Visionary commented as he and a stern-faced teen rolled up on a golf cart, “I wonder how many quarters it took to run a load.”
Artemis laughed; a reaction that drew an exasperated eye roll from the girl Visionary brought with him.
“It is all very impressive,” the lanky young woman noted, “The team has an amazing history.”
Visionary got out of the cart, “Well, ‘a history,’ at least. Um, Artemis, this is Kerry. She’s my, ah, student.”
“Captive,” the slim brunette quickly corrected.
“Ha, ha,” the possibly fake man tried to enjoy the joke.
There was a moment of awkward silence as the three stared at one another, broken when Vizh coughed softly and nudged Kerry between the shoulder blades. The girl looked back and squinted in anger at him, but sighed and stepped forward.
“S’up?” she mumbled.
“Not much,” was Charlotte’s inelegant and inaccurate reply.
“Great!” Visionary smiled and looked at his watch, “Well, I have to be running along. Kerry here is going to keep you company until we get back.”
“Are you going to look for Dominic?” Charlotte asked, not unreasonably, since she had expected to hear from the man by now.
“No, Hallie’s got that covered. We’re just going out on patrol,” the former leader of the Lair Legion jumped into his cart and shifted it into gear, “You guys have fun, now.”
“Dorkface couldn’t lie to save his own sad, sorry life,” Kerry observed as Visionary sped off. She eyed the girl she would be stuck chaperoning the rest of the day. Artemis was a head taller than her and very boyish in her appearance, with short spiky hair and surprisingly broad shoulders, “So, you’re like, Mr. Epitome’s daughter, right?”
Artemis bristled at the suggestion, but her answer was polite, “No. More like his ward.”
“What?”
“Like Batman and Robin. You know, ward.”
Kerry made a face, “That sounds, no offense, kind of squicky.”
“It’s not like he made me wear green short pants or anything,” Charlotte smiled, “He just trained me to fight crime. What did you mean when you said Visionary was lying?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He was in some big huddle with Nats and Hatman earlier. I think he’s going to try and do something heroic, which is never a good thing. Seriously, the man could screw up a free lunch.”
Artemis nodded in sympathy, “Do you think we could find out what he’s up to? I ask, ‘cause I think he’s trying to solve one of my problems, and while that’s nice and all I like to fight my own battles.”
“Well, he wants us to stay here, where it’s safe, so it would involve disobeying his wishes, sneaking out of the mansion, and borrowing one of the cars, which I don’t have a license for, ” Kerry paused for effect and then grinned, “Sure we can find out what Fakey’s got planned.”
“Sweet,” Artemis exclaimed before asking one last question:
“You wouldn’t happen to know where Trickshot keeps his bow and arrows, would you?”
*****
The workers at Tektrongedankstmäch worked quickly from the blueprints Hallie downloaded them. It only took them forty minutes to assemble a working Hologram Emitter Drone much like she traditionally used at and around Lair Mansion. It wasn’t quite as sophisticated (she couldn’t assume her hard light form, for example) but it was enough for her to download into and begin her search for Epitome.
The information Hallie had gotten from Fleabot’s encounter with Letitia Gahagan was accurate: American defense satellites did have the technology to track down the Paragon of Power’s energy signature. After hacking into the National Reconnaissance Office’s computers she waited until one such satellite crossed over where he was. It was amazing how exact the system could be, down even to the apartment complex.
She was assuming a bit of a risk. By the time she had the HED constructed and could get to the site Epitome might be gone, but since he couldn’t be communicated with or summonsed it seemed like a chance worth taking.
The HED zipped along the tidy streets of Göteborg, through an open door and into the building the missing Legionnaire was supposedly located in. Her earlier fears that she may have been flying headlong into some major villain’s base or terrorist group’s cell were unfounded, as she used her holographic form to peek into one apartment at a time and found nothing by puzzled Swedes going about their day to day lives.
She would never again say “JAG beklagar” so much in her life.
*****
Mr. Epitome could hear the commotion the AI was causing in her search. He didn’t know yet how she had found him, but she did, and unless he worked quickly things would become even more complicated.
“What’s wrong?” Exemplary asked as he struggled to his feet.
Dominic punched him in the face, breaking the big man’s nose and rendering him unconscious.
It would take a few more blows before Exemplary was unrecognizable. But once that was done the Man of Might’s ruse could begin.
*****
“Visionary,” Akiko Masamune welcomed with a disturbingly pleasant smile as she entered her office. Her coral colored gi was still surprisingly creased for someone just finished with half an hour of karate instruction.
“Hello, Akiko,” Visionary stood, then realized he didn’t know if he should bow, or offer his hand. He made an awkward attempt to combine the two greetings, a sort of half-bow, half lurch forward with his hand extended that would do nothing for his reputation as an ambassador of goodwill.
The woman seemed not to notice. She sat in her leather chair, dutifully covered with a primrose shammie by a hulking servant who had kept Visionary company, “Now, how may I help you?”
Visionary took his seat as well and absently rubbed his palms on his pant legs, “It’s about Artemis.”
“Ah.”
“The Lair Legion wants you to back off.”
The mistress of the Japanese underworld steepled her fingers.
“Or, uh, things are liable to get unpleasant.”
“I see.”
The possibly fake man felt a genuine case of cotton mouth coming on, “I mean, the team looks after their own. And their own’s own, even if the, ah, original own isn’t exactly present to do the looking after they should be. Doing.”
“I think your point is being lost in translation, Visionary.”
“OK, Artemis is just a kid, right, and you need to know she’s Mr. Epitome’s kid (I think) who isn’t all that fun to be around when someone’s not trying to murder his family. So, see, you’d be doing all of us a favor if you’d just, er, back off.”
Akiko Masamune replied, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Really? I thought that last part was pretty understandable,” Vizh argued weakly.
“Oh, your threat was implicit enough. I am still uncertain on who exactly this Artemis person is, and why you think I’m trying to have her killed.”
“She’s the superhero whose been interfering in your operations.”
“And what operations would those be?”
“Your yakuza stuff.”
Things were becoming clear for Akiko, “Artemis. Of course. I was not aware the vigilante had chosen that particular title. Very appropriate,” her eyes narrowed maliciously, “I am not the one responsible for your latest troubles, Visionary. But I know who is.”
“So you can help us out then?”
Akiko shook her head, “No, I rather think it will be you who helps me out.”
*****
Mr. Epitome was finished swathing Exemplary’s head with bandages when Hallie poked her head in through the flat’s front door.
“Mr. Epitome! What happened?!” she gaped at the ruined face of the man resting on the couch.
“Subduing a suspect. You really shouldn’t be here, Hallie. This is classified.”
“And you should be in Paradopolis, caring for your daughter!” she phased all the way into the room and struck an accusatory posture, “Not foisting that responsibility off on poor Vihz and the others.”
“You know about that?” Epitome should have known Visionary would drop the ball somehow.
“I’m neck deep in it. The men after her attacked us when we took her from the hospital. People got killed.”
Dominic looked concerned, “Not any of us?”
“No, though it was rough going for Artemis until Uhuna worked with Jay to heal her injuries.”
“Mr. Boaz is aware of the situation?”
Hallie nodded, “And Yo. And Lisa. And believe me, we all want answers.”
The Paragon of Power hoisted the restrained Exemplary up by his collar.
“That man, he isn’t dead, is he?” the AI worried.
“No, but I need to take him into custody before his powers resurface,” Mr. Epitome became very grave; “You’ll have to wait for your answers.”
Hallie’s face twisted with frustration, “This could have all been avoided if you trusted us.”
“Trust? Why should I trust the Lair Legion?” he asked calmly, “They had you hack into my lap top computer when I first joined the team.” (1)
The declaration stunned Hallie, “You know about that?”
Epitome nodded, “You did a good job covering your tracks, but OPS has excellent computer technicians.”
“Sir Mumphrey wanted to check to make sure you weren’t planning anything.”
“Of course. Perfectly reasonable. If you don’t trust someone, it pays to be cautious. You don’t want them to have any edge, any information that can be used against you,” Dominic Clancy shifted his mute prisoner to a fireman’s carry, “Now, let’s see if we can go about solving our current problem.”
That’s when Hallie got word from Lair Mansion that the problem had increased in number and severity.
Next: Visionary learns the secret origin of the Yakuza Spider Clan. The Kumoyabun meets with a pair of Legionnaires for lunch. And Mr. Epitome has to make a hard choice. Out hopefully by Tuesday.
New Year, New Footnote Format:
(1) Hallie’s uninvited perusal of Mr. Epitome’s laptop takes place in “Untold Tales #154, Conversations with Mumphrey” which incidentally is one of my favorites episodes in the series.
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